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Monday, November 1, 2010

Employment Application from Mr Richard Head

From: Mr Richard Head, Cumbria
Telephone 0168 342  Fax 0 168742 47958


20/12/97


Dear Sir,
          I have been writing to various firms for some time now, looking for work, and someone very kindly gave me your name.  I have taken the liberty of writing to you as I have a slight speech impediment when talking to strangers over the telephone.  I feel that with the correct training this can easily be overcome.
          As well as my slight stutter, I am also partially disabled, but feel sure that this will not prejudice you against granting me an interview.  Due to an illness in recent years, I have lost the use of my left arm and leg.  Well to be perfectly honest, I have had them removed. In normal circumstances, this would not prove to be much of a problem, but unfortunately, I was left handed, and tend to get quite dizzy balancing on one leg.
          You may wonder how I can type so well with the remaining finger on my right hand - for the past two years I have been attending a special school for the handicapped and deaf, (I am hard of hearing), where I have learnt to type holding a pencil in my teeth.  However, bad luck has caught up with me again as my dentist tells me that I will have to have my teeth extracted in the near future.
          One point that may be against me is my wheelchair.  When I first got it, with having only one arm and one leg, it used to go round in circles.  I have tried using my crutches, but only having one arm makes things difficult. I feel sure that I have not been successful at other interviews because of my chair and the tyre marks it left on polished surfaces. Because of this I am willing to leave my chair outside and drag myself along the office floor, should you require me to run any messages.
          Should my application be successful, this would be my first job, as I have, until now, looked after my 80yr old mother who is unable to do much for herself as she relied heavily on the family servants when I was younger.  If I could earn a living, I could give her money for her own small luxuries such as cigarettes, beer and Bingo.  For myself, I could buy luxuries like a new tyre for my chair and a lead free pencil to hold in my mouth.  The doctor says it was probably lead poisoning that made me go partially blind in my remaining good eye.
          Could I also mention that I would need a power point near my chair to re-charge my pace-maker as the battery is a trifle suspect.  I would be willing to have the cost of this deducted from my weekly wages along with the cost of strengthening the floor joists to take the weight of my portable kidney machine.
          I do not know whether you would prefer a male or female for the position, but my surgeon assures me that he could snip a bit here and there as required.


Hoping to hear from you soon,


Yours Faithfully
Richard Head

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