Why don't people say 'Thank You' any more?

(With acknowledgment to Pete Seager who wrote the original song)

Where have all the 'Thank-Yous' gone?

Long time passing;

Where have all the 'Thank-Yous' gone?

Long time ago;

Where have all the 'Thank-Yous' gone?

Quite forgotten, every one,

When will the people learn?

When will they ever learn?

When I was a small boy my godmother used to send me a postal order for 30/- (£1.50) every year for my birthday, which would be a considerable sum in comparison to today’s greatly devalued currency. Every year my father would tell me to write a thank you note to her, to show that I appreciated the gift, and every year, after several reminders, he would eventually stand over me until the task was completed to his satisfaction. This carried on until I was 14 years old, and that year my father reminded me to send the thank you note only once. Of course the inevitable happened and the task was left undone. That was the last year that my godmother sent me a gift, although I would still receive a birthday card. When I left school and started work, aged 16, one of the first things that I did with my very first pay-packet was to buy a bouquet of flowers and take to my godmother. I guess that I thought it made up for my tardiness when it came to writing the thank-you notes.

 The following year my godmother, who was in her early nineties, passed away, and some time later I learned from her companion that she had left a considerable amount of money to charity. I also learned that originally I was to be the beneficiary of her estate, but that she had changed her will because I had not demonstrated that I appreciated her birthday gift a couple of years previously. It was a hard lesson, but one that was well- learned, and subsequently I make a point of ensuring that people who are generous towards me get a proper word of thanks in writing.

Nowadays it seems that people no longer bother to say thank you any more. I can only assume that, living in a fairly wealthy society by global standards, the gifts that are received are considered either as a ‘right’ for which no thanks are due, or else not worth saying thank you for. Recently my wife and I gave a gift to a couple in the family who were getting married, and to this day I have no idea whether they appreciated it or not, because there has not been a word of thanks from them.

Speaking to friends about all of this, I learn that it is the norm nowadays rather than the exception. How sad to think that we live in a generation where everything is taken for granted to the point that the basic good manners of offering thanks for gifts is not considered necessary.