When she went to bed at night the last thing she thought of was the betrayal of trust and her determination that she would never forgive him. When she woke up in the morning, often after a restless, sleep-disturbed night, the same thought was there in the forefront of her mind, making her more determined than ever about her resolve to harbour the grudge and deny forgiveness.
The weeks went by and soon turned into months and then years, and it was the same thing, the same thoughts, the same determination, every single day, "I'll never forgive him!" And as the time passed she became more and more unhappy with her life, little realising that this unforgiving thought had grown so large that it had taken over her whole life. The bitterness grew larger and larger inside her like a cancer, gradually consuming the loving and caring person that she'd once been. It was not long before she turned away from mirrors because she hated the bitter, downcast reflection that stared back at her from the glass. As the bitterness ate away inside her so the depression covered her like a swirling grey mist, blinding her to the beauty of life and living.
She never learned the most important lesson that would have changed her life for ever. The lesson that would have brought back the brightness, the caring and the love. The one simple fact that bitterness attacks the person who harbours it, not the person against whom it's aimed. If only she'd known that one thing. If only someone had explained that without being forgiving we can never expect to be forgiven ourselves.
Sometimes people harbour grudges for so long that they forget what started them in the end. It pervades every area of their lives, seeping out into conversations and turning the colour of our lives a little greyer each time that we think about it or mention it. in the end, the greyness gets darker and darker until it turns to blackness.
The good news is that there is a way out of the darkness. The first thing is to bring the offending thoughts out into the open. Let the grudges and the bitterness face the light of day. Once you have done that, focus on the cause and then forgive those responsible. Sometimes you will be able to forgive them face to face, sometimes the bitter hurt will go back so far that you are unable to for some reason. Maybe the person has moved away and you have no idea where they are; maybe they have died. Whatever the situation, in your heart you can forgive them. Once you have gone through this cleansing action of forgiving then you are able to seek forgiveness for yourself for all the things that you have done wrong, including harbouring the bitterness that you have had throughout the months or years.
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Christ died on the Cross at Calvary in order that we might find forgiveness. Because we are all sinners, yes dear reader, every single one of us, including you and me, we all need the forgiveness that can only come through Him --- God's forgiveness. It's there for everyone to claim, but we must have forgiving hearts if we are to receive forgiveness ourselves.
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Let today be a new start. Let today be the day that you forgive everyone that you hold a grudge against. Let today be the day that you seek and find forgiveness in your own life. There is only one place to find true forgiveness and that is at the foot of the Cross, so why not turn to Jesus Christ in prayer today and seek the forgiveness that only comes through Him. With that forgiveness comes reconciliation. Reconciliation with God, reconciliation with others, and reconciliation with yourself.
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